Reflecting on the 3 years since I left Sydney to call Bali home, I look at the path I have taken over the past few years and the decade before.
In this stage in my journey, I am aligned with purpose, growth, love, connection, health and abundance. I am the fittest, healthiest, most connected version of myself. I am living in a way that is sustainable, healthy, open, full of joy and purpose, and it’s my own creation, not limited by the expectations and conditioning of society.
It wasn’t always this way though! Growing up in Sydney, I followed the "traditional" path. I had a natural talent for technology, so it made sense that I studied and subsequently started a career in the field. The ideas of purpose, passion, alignment, service and helping others were entirely foreign to me. My job, however, did provide a beautiful life, with all of the options in this world.
When I was 21, I had a motorbike accident in northern Thailand, resulting in a fractured pelvis, crushed leg and broken arm. I didn’t walk for 8 months with recovery taking 2 years. This life changing event made me want to live for today as I became aware of the possibility of dying tomorrow. My early adult life became characterised by travel, partying, fun, love, and living entirely for the present moment.
In my late 20’s I went through a heartbreak that sent me spiralling to rock bottom. Through my pain, I hurt the people closest to me. I alienated friends and family. I somehow ended up with $80,000 worth of debt and was running out of options. I was living entirely from an unconscious internal mindset fuelled by alcohol, drugs, sex and pain.
One day after sitting with the intense pain of failure, I had a moment of intense recognition and consciousness, where I took an honest look at the life I was leading. I saw what I was creating and what would come if I were to continue on this path. I felt deep pain and sadness at the possibility of going through life without any true direction, hurting the people around me, not living up to my potential.
It was not the life of my dreams. It was loneliness, pain, a lack of abundance and joy. This was an unacceptable outcome and I knew something needed to change, but I had no understanding of the possibilities, approaches or what was actually needed.
I began with traditional therapy and while I learned a number of powerful tools, it never took me far enough. I felt the therapists were bringing tools and techniques to the sessions, but often no real understanding of life. Their experience was so different from mine that advice and approaches often wouldn’t fully land in my consciousness. I felt their sessions coming from books and teaching instead of real-world experience.
I realised I needed to look further and deeper. I realised I needed to open up to other possibilities and ideas. I had no understanding of what I needed, wanted or what the paths were. I just knew there was more to the traditional reality than I had seemingly been sold.
I recognised that while I had a successful, well-paid career, a lifestyle that allowed me all the western, modern privileges, I wasn’t truly happy. I was 25 kg overweight, full of false confidence and insecurities, and was not self-aware. I wasn’t anywhere close to living out my fullest potential.
Instead of spending my money on travel and partying, I began heavily investing in myself, trying various workshops, approaches, modalities, therapies (you may consider being more specific about these different approaches and experiences). I recognised coaches were a fast track to change and began engaging them to improve all areas of my life. To this day, I still use coaches to help me bring about lasting change, growth and accountability.
I began coaching almost by accident. While learning about dating and relationships, I started mentoring other men going through their own challenges. I quickly realised that I could break down complex issues, articulate ideas and solutions and bring these ideas together in a holistic manner. I could shift the mindsets and patterns of the people around me.
This led to becoming a relationship and dating coach, helping both men and women improve all aspects of their relationships. I had discovered my passion and ultimately a path to purpose. I realised that I had a powerful, non-judgmental, open and healthy approach to life, love, sexuality and relationships.
I continued to work in technology, but my passion quickly became coaching and I invested even more time, money and energy into myself. I began to shift my mindsets around health, nutrition, money, work and life. I wanted to understand the most effective ways to shift my life and the lives of those around me.
I realised that there was more to life than what Sydney offered. I wanted deep connections, I wanted community, I wanted to be surrounded by unique, inspiring individuals, living life on their own terms. I wanted the opportunity to grow and shift each and every day of my life. The question became where would I find what I was seeking in a new home?
My search led me to leaving Sydney in 2015 and I have been calling Ubud, Bali home ever since.
While I still work in technology, it’s focused around the non-profit space and I have the freedom to pick the projects that inspire me. My passion and purpose in life, however, is helping men and women transform their lives. To help them shift their past, their present and create their future - to take a powerful leap into the unknown.
I am enormously fortunate to be able to continually and relentlessly work on myself. To look at the good, the bad and the ugly and refine my life and the man I am today. I truly believe anything is possible and it’s my path in life to be able to help you get there.